Aloha!

Yes I totally agree I will do my best to send more general letters but really I just want to write people that will write me. life in the mission is moving so fast by the time it's pday I don't remember my week but I will do my best. how is every thing going for you how is work and the fam doing what has been going on back home. I hope every thing is going well. thing on the mission have been a little hard lately and it's stuff I would rather not share and thoughs things are most of my week so a lot of it is negative stuff so I don't know what else to email beside the week was busy and I'm full of food I'm trying to come up with some thing to write but it is hard ever sense the mtc I have dropped spiritually and have been trying to gain the faith to keep moving on there has been so many times were Ive been so over whelmed with doubt I think I should just come home I guess you can say that satan is working on me. I have been dealing with all kind of temptations and also have had consistent unclean thoughts I don't know what I should do because sense I lack the faith I don't know that god is really there I feel like I have no foundation against evil, and it is really frustrating and discouraging to resist temptation with no back bone but blind faith. I know that the commandments bring true happieness but all that goes out of the window when you don't know that you have a purpose in your life that god is real and really love you and most importantly that the christ is the savior of the world and the atonement is really a thing and can change me. I am trying my best but I'm falling short. The savior said If you love me keep my commandments well it is hard to love something if you don't have asuriety that the thing you love is even real. IT is also hard to preach and testify about some thing that you don't know it's true, I do believe in the church and god is there but I have my doubts. I want to over come this but I don't know how and I also don't know how I'm going to receive my answer but I have been reading the book of mormon and have felt a difference I just haven't received my answer. I wanted to mark this urgent but I don't know what is considered urgent so I didn't but really this is a problem. I want to thank you for your great conceil and I don't mean to be difficult I am just trying to find the truth and fighting against some thing with no weapons or shields, and it is hard but I know all I can do is my best even though my best is not that much it's all I got. so that is what is going on so I'm sorry that I haven't been able to give you guys a good letter lately I"m trying to stay out here but it is difficult and I really don't feel like good is there and that he loves me so how I suppose to help others feel that. I'm sorry I don't mean to complain I just letting you know that I'm going through a hard time. I love you dad and don't ever want to let you down thats why I still here but I don't know if I have any more strength. I hope every thing is going well back home keep moving forward. aloha