love you too dad thanks this letter is only for you to read for the support life is difficult and I still feel like I haven't gotten that answer to my prayers yet but I hope I will I see the blessing of the gospel I believe in the truth of this chruch I guess I can say that I struggle with the apostasy cause I know that there is only one truth so how do you know for sure that you truth is the only truth when other feel that same burning desire that there religon is true I want to believe but believing can only bring you so far I went on my mission feeling that I don't know it's true but I believe so I toke that leep of faith trusting that the lord would catch me but I feel like I'm still falling I just don't know how I'm going to receive peace that this is true with out having some kind of answers. how long must I fall tell I get an answer that god is really there and he love me how can I know.. I don't mean to rant but it is really discouraging cause I can't look them in the eye and tell them that this is true that god is real that he loves them if I haven't felt that my self. I believe and will continue to believe and i know that the gospel makes me happy and that it fills a void of emptiness inside me but thats it so that's how things are really going on but I'll be ok I wont quit I just don't know what I;m going to do when I get home cause if I don't get the spiritual witness of why I'm here whats the purpose in life is the church true and is god real, I know for a fact because i have seen it in other RM's I will fall away and that is something I don't to happen but I know if you do not have a true fondation in some thing that will happen any one can believe in santa clause but that doesn't make him real you can be influenced to be good by something but that doesn't make it real I know I letting scratch get in between my eyes but I want to know not this believe stuff I WANT TO KNOW but I don't know how to know any ways I 'm done sorry for that I'm just letting off my steam so yea the hurricane pass over us like it was nothing didn't even rain on us so the lord is protecting hawaii. so this week is transfer week and I'm staying the area and I got a new companion elder smothers. He is so great and has lots of wisdom up his sleeve because he has three more months left so I might kill him off haha (send him home) so trying to help him be trunky I mean not trunky haha he is from Alabama and speaks Tongan. taking over the area is hard this is my first time so it is difficult to call the shoots I'm better at being the wing man haha but it has been a great learning experience. elder smothers and I have made it a goal to get to know the members more sense kahuku is a small mormon community all the investigators we get is form members which is good and that is our goal to get more member trust. It is a little of a change with a new companion and the week has been a little slow kahuku had there home coming game on Friday and the whole town went so we went as well to see who we could find and it was so much fun the power went off in the neighborhood so we had no light or fan when we went to sleep, but on a good we got a new investigator she is nine years old and her family is less active. her mom wants her to get baptized this Saturday so we taught her every day last week and to day 5 we are teaching her the last lesson at the visiter center yea super awesome this week is crazy we have two baptisms on Saturday and two other baptisms happening in the ward on that day as well so hard at work. I will let you know how it goes. I love you dad ALOHA
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